Sunday, March 05, 2006
Formula One Writing
FORMULA ONE SPORSTWRITING
The great writer Ring Lardner is a hero of mine because he didn’t like interviewing and quoting competitors and coaches after competition. “I don’t want those people screwing up my story, ”Lardner said. “You don’t see a bunch a real life characters sitting next to a Novelist as he creates his narrative.”
That is true but it’s also true there are certain realties to be agreed up when watching a sporting event like the final score. However, Sports is as much about spin as politics. The writer had tremendous power to enter a game story at any point in the contest then to spin it one way or another.
There are some “reporters” out there who do a great job keeping states and reporting a game close to how it actually happened. Not me! I’m a story teller. You want stats bring a palm pilot to the game. Did you ever yuk it up with a palm pilot personality? Hell no, there is no personality behind someone who amends their personal schedule 10 times a freaking day.
I will only interview a coach or athlete one on one never in a group. And the first time the athletic director or Uncle Charlie enters my interview and the Coach or athlete starts talking to them I leave. There is actually a high degree of professionalism regarding this process at the college and pro levels. At the high school levels the wheels come right off the wagon as soon as the game is over.
I was once interviewing a football coach who took over an 0-30 program and was 0-7 himself when I tried to line him up for some inane question like “when did you first notice your life and career taking a turn for the worse or is that worst or perhaps even wurst?
This guy kept moving so he could stand next to me side by side without facing me. We danced around a little and finally I said, ”Coach where the fuck are you going I feel like I’m interviewing my own puppet.”
A college coach after a victory who actually had his sons piggy bank under his arm answered a question from a reporter by blasting me as I stood there inside the “who gives a shit” reporters circle.
“We should be fine as long as I can get this guy to stop writing bad things about us.”
I was not intimidated by some D3 cable knit sweater dude with a piggy bank.
“Coach whatever happens out there on the field doesn’t fall under the realm of my responsibility. I cannot take credit or blame.”
Coach was mad because the week before on a first and goal from the opponent’s one yardline he called for a pass and it was intercepted. I wrote something like, ”Everyone in the house with a paid up cable bill knows you ran the ball in that situation.”
Is that objective? No! Is it funny? I thought so!
Once I wrote of Orlando brown of the Baltimore Ravens. “He’s gone in the tank so many times this season he should get his mail at the Baltimore Aquarium.” My nephew Mike was on that team and showed the comment to the 6’8” “mother fucker” is my favorite word” Zeus who said “I’m going to beat your Uncle’s mother fucking ass next time I see him.”
But I’d rather hear that than some required litany of “we stepped it up” horse crap.
Now I’m off to cover another game. Hope my team wins or else I’ll be standing there interviewing some shattered hoop dreams 17 year old and tto tell you the truth I’ve got my own problems.
Peace Freddogg
The great writer Ring Lardner is a hero of mine because he didn’t like interviewing and quoting competitors and coaches after competition. “I don’t want those people screwing up my story, ”Lardner said. “You don’t see a bunch a real life characters sitting next to a Novelist as he creates his narrative.”
That is true but it’s also true there are certain realties to be agreed up when watching a sporting event like the final score. However, Sports is as much about spin as politics. The writer had tremendous power to enter a game story at any point in the contest then to spin it one way or another.
There are some “reporters” out there who do a great job keeping states and reporting a game close to how it actually happened. Not me! I’m a story teller. You want stats bring a palm pilot to the game. Did you ever yuk it up with a palm pilot personality? Hell no, there is no personality behind someone who amends their personal schedule 10 times a freaking day.
I will only interview a coach or athlete one on one never in a group. And the first time the athletic director or Uncle Charlie enters my interview and the Coach or athlete starts talking to them I leave. There is actually a high degree of professionalism regarding this process at the college and pro levels. At the high school levels the wheels come right off the wagon as soon as the game is over.
I was once interviewing a football coach who took over an 0-30 program and was 0-7 himself when I tried to line him up for some inane question like “when did you first notice your life and career taking a turn for the worse or is that worst or perhaps even wurst?
This guy kept moving so he could stand next to me side by side without facing me. We danced around a little and finally I said, ”Coach where the fuck are you going I feel like I’m interviewing my own puppet.”
A college coach after a victory who actually had his sons piggy bank under his arm answered a question from a reporter by blasting me as I stood there inside the “who gives a shit” reporters circle.
“We should be fine as long as I can get this guy to stop writing bad things about us.”
I was not intimidated by some D3 cable knit sweater dude with a piggy bank.
“Coach whatever happens out there on the field doesn’t fall under the realm of my responsibility. I cannot take credit or blame.”
Coach was mad because the week before on a first and goal from the opponent’s one yardline he called for a pass and it was intercepted. I wrote something like, ”Everyone in the house with a paid up cable bill knows you ran the ball in that situation.”
Is that objective? No! Is it funny? I thought so!
Once I wrote of Orlando brown of the Baltimore Ravens. “He’s gone in the tank so many times this season he should get his mail at the Baltimore Aquarium.” My nephew Mike was on that team and showed the comment to the 6’8” “mother fucker” is my favorite word” Zeus who said “I’m going to beat your Uncle’s mother fucking ass next time I see him.”
But I’d rather hear that than some required litany of “we stepped it up” horse crap.
Now I’m off to cover another game. Hope my team wins or else I’ll be standing there interviewing some shattered hoop dreams 17 year old and tto tell you the truth I’ve got my own problems.
Peace Freddogg
