Friday, March 17, 2006
Rolling With Restraint
I am solidly middle class and so are most of the people in my world. Garth Brooks sang, ”I’ve got friends in low places except he doesn’t anymore than Chris Rock or David Chapel represent anything Ghetto.
Sit down in your family room or great or not so great room. How many color televisions are in your house? Is it enough? Is it ever enough? And for those of you who don’t own a television because you don’t watch television all I can say is that don’t mean you’re not stupid anyway.
How many phones beyond the “my cell is my lifeline” phones are in your house? Are any of them not cordless with 25 football coiled cords wrapped around an external caller i.d.machine.
Do you own a four wheel drive that is never “locked In” and do you own at least one other vehicle that you don’t need?
Now it’s multiple computers with in house routers because if you’re upstairs watching a color t.v.and recording the program with a DVD recorder you shouldn’t have to go downstairs to get on the computer even though you also have a blackberry in your pocket.
Do you have a riding mower? Please tell me you don’t! Has your riding mower evolved into an actual tractor with attachments! Please say it ain’t so!
Do you have an advanced degree from somewhere but bottom line is you don’t know shit about very much?
And do you think you weigh too much and are you always on a diet of restraint even when you’re in fat phase and do you look stupid when you run which is why you don’t do it.?
Finally go to your closet and pick out the dumbest thing you ever purchased while sober and throw it in the trash. Don’t even think of donating it to the thrift shop because they’ll send it to Somalia and it will end up on the back of a Warlord who is a syndicated owner of a 4 by 2 1983 Toyota regular cab pick up.
I have never been to IHOP of Cracker Barrel. That’s part of my diet.
Peace Freddogg
Sit down in your family room or great or not so great room. How many color televisions are in your house? Is it enough? Is it ever enough? And for those of you who don’t own a television because you don’t watch television all I can say is that don’t mean you’re not stupid anyway.
How many phones beyond the “my cell is my lifeline” phones are in your house? Are any of them not cordless with 25 football coiled cords wrapped around an external caller i.d.machine.
Do you own a four wheel drive that is never “locked In” and do you own at least one other vehicle that you don’t need?
Now it’s multiple computers with in house routers because if you’re upstairs watching a color t.v.and recording the program with a DVD recorder you shouldn’t have to go downstairs to get on the computer even though you also have a blackberry in your pocket.
Do you have a riding mower? Please tell me you don’t! Has your riding mower evolved into an actual tractor with attachments! Please say it ain’t so!
Do you have an advanced degree from somewhere but bottom line is you don’t know shit about very much?
And do you think you weigh too much and are you always on a diet of restraint even when you’re in fat phase and do you look stupid when you run which is why you don’t do it.?
Finally go to your closet and pick out the dumbest thing you ever purchased while sober and throw it in the trash. Don’t even think of donating it to the thrift shop because they’ll send it to Somalia and it will end up on the back of a Warlord who is a syndicated owner of a 4 by 2 1983 Toyota regular cab pick up.
I have never been to IHOP of Cracker Barrel. That’s part of my diet.
Peace Freddogg
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Rule: Adults shouldn't run unless playing organized sports, or if they are in physical danger. Adults especially shouldn't run if they are in business attire. Finally, "the running man" dance is also included in the rule, unless you are drunk or mocking someone.
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