Friday, March 31, 2006
What! No Gorgonzola!
A big girl led her rolling daddy around the Sam’s Club food bins yesterday as my boy was eye level with high calorie low nutrition tasty treats that turned him on like an exotic dancer at a fraternity party. This guy was not disease disabled he was just really fat. And then he barked like a Bull Walrus, ”What? No Gorgonzola!”
That just floored me like a high horse powered hall buffer. “That’s right you fat bastard. No gorgonzola! But suddenly he was fondling a cylinder of Colby cheese in a sorta sexual way and I thought, ”well of course, Sam’s Club big portion overkill, where drives one and two come together. Forget Lavitra, when gorgonzola is in the house daddy is always excited.
I was growing up and my German Aunts were fat and hard and in really good domestic shape but then they got older and into diet and weight loss but I don’t care they are and always will be my fat aunts and they hate me because of written proof that I am a smart ass who takes bow shots at them like a diving U Boat on an unprotected supply ship.
But I have class and compassion for people. Yesterday I was leaving Target with two pair of Yo Boy shorts in a plastic bag and a box of Slim Fast Cookie Dough bars and got behind a woman and her daughter both of whom were rejected from the Duke University Rice Diet weight loss center. A high school white girl named Natasha credited my debit card. We talked and hung out as I waited for these C 400’s to clear the hanger
No joke, I was once leaving Super G, how perfect a name to describe a woman so fat in an electric cart so underpowered that it wouldn't go over the little piece of aluminum threshold on the floor. I have 18 inch calves because of pushing a seven man sled at football practice when I was younger. I told her, ”hold on mam” and lowered my should and blocked her over the threshold.
I know you think this humor is somewhat cruel and you’re absolutely right but none of these people are suffering the anxieties that go with the pursuit of perfection so there is an up side.
People without restraints and absolutely no brakes just fascinate me. And someday it's going to happen where a run away cart is going to flatten and kill some skinny no butt gym bitch in a workout outfit. At least it will be listed as an accident.
Peace Freddogg
That just floored me like a high horse powered hall buffer. “That’s right you fat bastard. No gorgonzola! But suddenly he was fondling a cylinder of Colby cheese in a sorta sexual way and I thought, ”well of course, Sam’s Club big portion overkill, where drives one and two come together. Forget Lavitra, when gorgonzola is in the house daddy is always excited.
I was growing up and my German Aunts were fat and hard and in really good domestic shape but then they got older and into diet and weight loss but I don’t care they are and always will be my fat aunts and they hate me because of written proof that I am a smart ass who takes bow shots at them like a diving U Boat on an unprotected supply ship.
But I have class and compassion for people. Yesterday I was leaving Target with two pair of Yo Boy shorts in a plastic bag and a box of Slim Fast Cookie Dough bars and got behind a woman and her daughter both of whom were rejected from the Duke University Rice Diet weight loss center. A high school white girl named Natasha credited my debit card. We talked and hung out as I waited for these C 400’s to clear the hanger
No joke, I was once leaving Super G, how perfect a name to describe a woman so fat in an electric cart so underpowered that it wouldn't go over the little piece of aluminum threshold on the floor. I have 18 inch calves because of pushing a seven man sled at football practice when I was younger. I told her, ”hold on mam” and lowered my should and blocked her over the threshold.
I know you think this humor is somewhat cruel and you’re absolutely right but none of these people are suffering the anxieties that go with the pursuit of perfection so there is an up side.
People without restraints and absolutely no brakes just fascinate me. And someday it's going to happen where a run away cart is going to flatten and kill some skinny no butt gym bitch in a workout outfit. At least it will be listed as an accident.
Peace Freddogg
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Hey Fred, I have some friends sick enough to enjoy your blog. Would you mind if I made them aware of it via e-mail? No promise real or imagined is made that they won't post stupid shit.
--- Terry
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--- Terry
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: 8:13 AM
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