Freddogg Off The Chain

‘She’s actual size but she looks much bigger to me.” They Might be Giants.”

I will never be aging fat loser white boy with a drink in his hand posing for a photo. Someone will have to hold my drink because I ain’t going to end up online or on the front page of the local paper representing some Heart Ball fundraiser with other zoned out white loser do gooders. Freak that!

And what loser poses with the Jagermeister girls three hours into happy hour just for a size small polyester tee shirt and a beer huggy? I tell those young bitches straight up, ”Get those things away from me. You ain’t impressing nobody! Sure you’re studying to be a teacher. Have you ever watched the show 24? Well here in Delaware it’s 28/7.”

So I go to a wedding where a teacher got married and there are lots of ethnic white people with genetic predispositions for alcohol abuse on the guest list. And somehow I get in a picture but not with a drink in my hand and anyway it’s early so maybe I had a screwdriver in my pocket and maybe the Jagermeister girls are in the bridal party?

You reach a point in life where an afternoon photo taken with a harsh light makes you look drunk ever if your not. So I walk into the local high school on business and two girls I know said, ”It looks like you had a good time at that wedding. We saw the pictures.”

Now what lunatic shows “teachers at the wedding” photos to kids from the teacher’s high school? I’ve covered high school sports for 30 years and never showed up with alcohol on my breath. Sometimes I just didn’t show up but I never drink before work because who wants to be that loser guy?

Kodochrome: When I think back to all the crap I taught in high school. And remember crap in dyslexic is carp.

Peace Professor Freddogg