Freddogg Off The Chain

FAMILY CIRCLE

The song is the new Wooly Bully. “Let’s Get This Party Started!” performed by Pink which is at least as good a name as Sam the Sham.

A ground level reception room in an eight story motel gives license to call the place an Inn. The wedding lasted only minutes, then the crowd, most spawned from the bogs of Jersey, set out on the Great Adventure of the evening which began at the bar. The phrase “this is going to get ugly” is a good expression when the bar crowd if five deep and the liquor if free.

Woman were ordering shots of things I never heard of but sounded like Chewbacca and I wasn’t going to stand there like Hans Solo stroking my Wookie so when someone offered my a shot I took it in between spearing hot grab balls with a tooth pick from roving tray women. “Crab ball? Take two they’re small.”

Murph the Groom, parked his green and gold dump truck with gold lettering out front. It was the classiest vehicle in the parking lot. He has his name on one door and his bride Eileen’s on the other. Eileen is an English teacher who I nicknamed “Crack Rabbit” because every day at lunch it was a large garden salad inside a Tupperware bowl as Eileen cruised in conversation at 80 miles and hour and ate salad at 70.

The D.J. looked “luded” out and it was obvious he had no soulful sense whatsoever. It reminded me of the mystery of homely and out of shape teenaged girls entering beauty pageants which they sometimes won and got their picture in the paper and everyone would make fun of them when they weren’t around and I felt bad for the girl and also not because what is the bitch doing representing beauty in the first place.

Suddenly it was Pink. And there was a family circle on the dance floor that looked like all the generations from the Sopranos show. I saw Murph go middle and start spinning. I got up to watch. Some little kid took over the center circle then a tall young man with high black hair moistened and pulled back. Aunts and uncles took their turns and finally Great Grandmom who was flat out rocking.

It was the most awesome three minutes of entertainment I had seen all year including all those pro and college football games I covered. I was envious because I am incapable of reaching that level of spontaneous exuberance. This was people “going jersey” and I understood that I could never go there. In Philly it was “The Stroll” a funky bad attitude walk between two lines, a “what are you looking at” dance.

I have suffered through weddings including Polkas, The Mexican Hat Dance, Hokey Pokey, the freaking bunny hop and that awful snaking line around the room train thing usually led by a relative you hate.

Pink is my Sunday morning hero. Let’s get this party started. “Hey There Little Red Riding Hood. You sure are looking good! “

Peace

Walking the Freddogg