Freddogg Off The Chain

Crime Dog Fred

I am getting whacked by income tax and all I can think is if I’m an example of an American success story what are the rest of the sorry bitches doing?

The Numbers people will turn you into "Measured Speech Man." I recently had a talk on the phone with Equity Accelerator Man from four banks and nine years ago but I got this letter so I called and said, ”I didn’t think you were still in the game my mortgage has changed banks and administrators four times since nine years ago. So what are you doing in my life”?

“I don’t know, you called me, ”he said.
“That’s because someone is getting an extra hundred a month of my money since 1997 and I don’t care who gets it as long as it gets deducted from my bill.”

“Then this young white wanker banker got a bit of an attitude and started to patiently explain what should have been patently obvious so I interrupted and said—and I’m not proud of this—“I am an educated person with a masters degree and I have great insight and understanding and the ability to follow a logically progression of facts leading to a particular destination but I must admit that I don’t know what the fuck you are talking about.”

Then only days later my friend and accountant who ends every sentence with “and every thing that” called and asked if I was sitting down and everything like that then said even though I was retired but in reality for only four months of the taxable year and because I made significantly more money in journalism that I had moved into the 48 percent tax bracket on the extra money earned and everything like that so I was going to have to take a hard hit and everything like that but next year I should be in a better position and everything like that’
Except next year I expect to be in prison because I’m taking a vacation into the world of crime to get my money back and I know exactly what I’m doing because I’m one bad ass white boy and everything like that and I learned a lot interviewing felons and none are as smart as me .

I’m robbing drug dealers, the ones with nice cars and no jobs. Scrawny white ones too and Hispanics who call everyone Holmes, whomever and whatever, I don’t care because I know when I go into my Mr Hyde disguise with this big body of mine those jokers will feel the pain and everything like that and I’ll tell them “I’ll be back to accelerate the equity I already have in your sorry ass know what I’m saying and everything like that and they won’t know but no matter I’m a retired teacher and used to confusing people.

Don’t tell me you never though of the big score and I’m not talking about The Big Nasty that’s another story altogether.

Now’s the disclaimer, just kidding and everything like that, but a big assed grandfather who robs drug dealers I may have to list as an asset on my return next year and everything like that

Peace

Freddogg