Monday, April 03, 2006
HEADS COMEDY! TAILS HOSTILITY!
SPEAK WITH FORKED TONGUE
What I say is not always what I mean. It’s called sarcasm, satire or just a joke. The people who become unraveled by words out of context are the stupid wired up tight asses of the world, however, a word to the wise is that sometimes “words intended not to be taken seriously can blow up in your face because morons continue to be the bewildered majority in any neighborhood on the planet.
Years ago after a double overtime basketball game won by the Sixers a radio reporter ask Charles Barkley who had a monster game, ”Charles what’s it like if you lose a game like this?”
“In that case you just want to go home and beat up your wife, ”Barkely said. You guessed it, the freaky deakies came out to play and protest and Barkley was asked to donate part of his salary to battered women’s shelters. Barkley’s wife said that the vacuum cleaners with the lights were made for Charles because he was fastidious and did all the cleaning in the house in the middle of the night even after games and was like a puppy dog which is why I named my Golden Retriever Barkley but later after a trade to Phoenix had to change his name to Hornecek which is the dumbest name ever for a dog.
The Philadelphia Inquirer did an investigative report on the relationship of sports to violence and found that way too many shelters across the city were the most busy on Sunday nights and Monday mornings following a loss by the Eagles. But no one wanted to talk about “Blue collar beat down guy" they wanted to chase Barkley all over the country. Remember when Barkley spit on some drunk ass obnoxious fan sitting courtside and instead of backing down Charles said,” I’m a nineties nigger, I don’t have to take that shit." Barkley would eventually have his own program on TBS which he wasn’t smart enough to carry because is just honest not necessarily clever.
And I can tell you the word from the inside was that Barkley was the most generous person with his money and time when it came to charity causes than any athlete in the city at that time especially cheap ass Mike Schmidt.
There was another radio post game interview after the Celtics beat the Pistons where a reporter kept asking Isaiah Thomas about Larry Bird. I know that you never ask a great athlete questions about another great athlete. Thomas finally said, ”If Larry Bird were black he’d be just another good guy.”
People took that and ran with it and Thomas couldn’t explain enough times that he and Larry were friends and that he was not racist, that it was just a joke but the problem was it was true and white people don’t be liking that shit.
Another case was the Orange Bowl for the National Championship featuring Penn State versus Miami. That was Jimmy Johnson and the combat fatigues worn by the players at the dinner. A Penn State Co Captain trying to be banquet funny guy said, “We are way more liberal up north then you all are up here. When Penn State travels by bus we let our black players sit in the front.”
That’s what he said and he broke a cardinal rule which is don’t make jokes about people you don’t represent except if your not white you can do white jokes because whitey will laugh anyway because he knows he still has all the money.
The big bad Miami players in combat gear walked out of the banquet which I thought was a bit of a pussy move because they knew the guy was just being stupid.
By the way Penn State won that game when My Cousin Vinnie threw five interceptions.
Jesse Jackson in 1988 running for the Democratic nomination with his Rainbow Coalition self was standing on a street corner in New York City getting ready to cross the street. An open radio Microphone was nearby and Jackson was heard to say, ”New York City, Hymie Town.” I’m not sure what that means but I do know Jewish people don’t like it but how many of them have ever come over to Jesse’s rainbow?
I worked at a previous newspaper that was getting really repressive and they were reigning me in like the runaway stallion of satire I had become. I wrote something in a column which quoted a friend and former athlete who was spinning records at his sister’s 40 birthday celebration. ”Make sure when you write about this you write we had a "Do" because black people call this a "Do" not a party.”
An unpleasant women, whom I had never met, but in charge of everyone inside a conglomerate of newspapers, sent me an angry memo telling me to watch my racist comments.
I responded that contrary to what she may think not every one in the world wanted to be a 50 year old white woman.
She didn’t like it but I can’t help it, they don’t.
I’m bailing out this Japanese Zero.
Peace Freddogg
www.davefredman.blogspot.com/
What I say is not always what I mean. It’s called sarcasm, satire or just a joke. The people who become unraveled by words out of context are the stupid wired up tight asses of the world, however, a word to the wise is that sometimes “words intended not to be taken seriously can blow up in your face because morons continue to be the bewildered majority in any neighborhood on the planet.
Years ago after a double overtime basketball game won by the Sixers a radio reporter ask Charles Barkley who had a monster game, ”Charles what’s it like if you lose a game like this?”
“In that case you just want to go home and beat up your wife, ”Barkely said. You guessed it, the freaky deakies came out to play and protest and Barkley was asked to donate part of his salary to battered women’s shelters. Barkley’s wife said that the vacuum cleaners with the lights were made for Charles because he was fastidious and did all the cleaning in the house in the middle of the night even after games and was like a puppy dog which is why I named my Golden Retriever Barkley but later after a trade to Phoenix had to change his name to Hornecek which is the dumbest name ever for a dog.
The Philadelphia Inquirer did an investigative report on the relationship of sports to violence and found that way too many shelters across the city were the most busy on Sunday nights and Monday mornings following a loss by the Eagles. But no one wanted to talk about “Blue collar beat down guy" they wanted to chase Barkley all over the country. Remember when Barkley spit on some drunk ass obnoxious fan sitting courtside and instead of backing down Charles said,” I’m a nineties nigger, I don’t have to take that shit." Barkley would eventually have his own program on TBS which he wasn’t smart enough to carry because is just honest not necessarily clever.
And I can tell you the word from the inside was that Barkley was the most generous person with his money and time when it came to charity causes than any athlete in the city at that time especially cheap ass Mike Schmidt.
There was another radio post game interview after the Celtics beat the Pistons where a reporter kept asking Isaiah Thomas about Larry Bird. I know that you never ask a great athlete questions about another great athlete. Thomas finally said, ”If Larry Bird were black he’d be just another good guy.”
People took that and ran with it and Thomas couldn’t explain enough times that he and Larry were friends and that he was not racist, that it was just a joke but the problem was it was true and white people don’t be liking that shit.
Another case was the Orange Bowl for the National Championship featuring Penn State versus Miami. That was Jimmy Johnson and the combat fatigues worn by the players at the dinner. A Penn State Co Captain trying to be banquet funny guy said, “We are way more liberal up north then you all are up here. When Penn State travels by bus we let our black players sit in the front.”
That’s what he said and he broke a cardinal rule which is don’t make jokes about people you don’t represent except if your not white you can do white jokes because whitey will laugh anyway because he knows he still has all the money.
The big bad Miami players in combat gear walked out of the banquet which I thought was a bit of a pussy move because they knew the guy was just being stupid.
By the way Penn State won that game when My Cousin Vinnie threw five interceptions.
Jesse Jackson in 1988 running for the Democratic nomination with his Rainbow Coalition self was standing on a street corner in New York City getting ready to cross the street. An open radio Microphone was nearby and Jackson was heard to say, ”New York City, Hymie Town.” I’m not sure what that means but I do know Jewish people don’t like it but how many of them have ever come over to Jesse’s rainbow?
I worked at a previous newspaper that was getting really repressive and they were reigning me in like the runaway stallion of satire I had become. I wrote something in a column which quoted a friend and former athlete who was spinning records at his sister’s 40 birthday celebration. ”Make sure when you write about this you write we had a "Do" because black people call this a "Do" not a party.”
An unpleasant women, whom I had never met, but in charge of everyone inside a conglomerate of newspapers, sent me an angry memo telling me to watch my racist comments.
I responded that contrary to what she may think not every one in the world wanted to be a 50 year old white woman.
She didn’t like it but I can’t help it, they don’t.
I’m bailing out this Japanese Zero.
Peace Freddogg
www.davefredman.blogspot.com/
