Freddogg Off The Chain

Personally, I defend the rights of racists to say whatever they want and also uphold the right of employers to fire them for it if they consider those remarks detrimental to the running of a business, let’s say public education.

N word doesn’t work in the telling of this story so my friends of many colors will excuse the use of the word nigger but without it the story has no impact.

I would always ask my students if they were on the inside of racist conversation, commentary or jokes because everyone around the table looked the same would they let it happen and just smile or interrupt and make a point and stand up for what they though was right. Let me answer that most of us just let it slide because it’s racism by gossip and stereotype and if only white people are around when the word nigger is used than what’s the harm” I mean who’s offended.

So it’s 1976 and I’m about to sit down with my friend Dick who was a couple years from retirement and a long drive from death itself to have lunch in a public high school faculty dining room.

This “strictly by the rules” teacher of science comes in and sits down with us. He starts looking around the room like some paranoid people do and I notice and say, ”Are you looking for something”?

“You guys want to hear a great joke," he whispers? As it turns out Dick is hard of hearing and actually was once the Principal at a school for the deaf.

“Pick it up a little, ”I say. “He elevates the whisper producing words from the lips not the throat.

“This white guy, a Jew and a nigger are blown up and killed by a land mine in Vietnam.”

“Really, I say. What a funny premise. And what did the devil say to them.”

“How did you know they went to hell? Have you heard it?”

“Actually, I haven’t heard it.”

“Well, he tells them if they give him 50 dollars they can go back to living on earth. The white guy gives him a 50 dollar bill and he’s back with this platoon.

What happened to the other two guys, ”the captain asked, after hearing the story.

“Now the teacher is twisting his head and darting his eyes and hunched over getting ready to deliver the punch line.

“I don’t know, ”the white guy said. “When I left the Jew had the devil down to $39.95 and the nigger was looking for a cosigner.”

I didn’t laugh and Dick looked spaced like he was outside his own body.

“Don’t you guys get it, ’he said. “Isn’t that funny?”

“Go ahead Dick tell him.”

“I have three mixed race grandchildren,” Dick whispered.”

The teacher looked confused. ”What do you mean?”

“He means his grand children are niggers, is what he means. Just cute little, milk chocolate colored, co signer seeking mother fuckers. One of them goes to school here. He’s that tall light skinned nigger who’s smart and real good at art.”

I love that story because I believe racism is all right if you mean it in which case you shouldn’t whisper but shout it out like millions are doing today in the first national “Let’s kick out the Hispanics and cut our own grass" day in America.

Peace Dr. Freddogg