Freddogg Off The Chain

I went into a book store yesterday and bought two books. “Everyman” by Phillip Roth I just sat down and read. It was 180 pages. I knew a millionaire and talented stylist like Roth could write that book in a week then have it sold and packaged. The book is about how living begins the road to dying. It’s about the inevitable breakdown of the body. It began and ended in a cemetary.
The other book was by T.R. Pearson , “GLAD NEWS of the NATURAL WORLD”. Pearson is to writing as Miles Davis is to jazz. I read his stuff for the challenge, to wash the words over my brain to help me become a better writer. Here’s a sample “I can’t help but believe I was intended for better use than I’ve gotten. I’m largely wasted, only spottily engaged and, for a robust 34 year old , almost criminally unambitious.”

But mostly when in book stores I yell back at Best Sellers because I am a relentless writer and I can see that in most cases marketability and talent has little to do with each other. There are the books by athletes as told to sports writers. There are the books by historians about athletes then there is John Feinstein who writes a best selling sports book every three months. And let's not even begin with diet and health books. I may write one "Hey Fat Ass!" go on Ophra and tell her,"You're still fat bitch!"

And how about celebrities who write children’s books what is that all about? Mandonna's Like a Virgin" trip to the Philly Zoo until she met the Silver Back "Power Tool."

So a trip through the book store is tough enough for me but yesterday inside a little store on Rehoboth Avenue it got tougher because sitting around in a circle drinking flavored coffee was a small group of haughty pseudo sophisticates one with a laptop the others in rapt attention was a local writers group.

I know that because I asked the “I work in a bookstore so I’m grunge garbed even though I’m 40 “women behind the counter, ”Who are those people?” I wanted to go “Jerky Boys” on her and asked “Who are those dip shits” and she would tell me in all seriousness never hearing “dip shits”.

‘They are “The Local Writers” group, ”she said. “There’s a flyer on the wall that list their schedule of appearances.”

“You don’t say? Local writers group hey? And how does one become a “local writer that no one ever heard of?”

I didn’t like it. I knew for certain these people were “academics” talking about written passages that no one ever reads. I wanted to sit down with them and ask, ”what are you dip shits talking about?” But alas it was into the 4runner with Jesse Dog who if she could talk would have said, ”Thank you for not getting Morley and Me and don’t forget my WaWa doughnut on the way home, dip shit.”

Peace Freddogg