Freddogg Off The Chain

It’s 100 degrees outside at 1:30 in the afternoon, no clouds and no chill but at least the light southwest winds are house fly friendly.
What kind of moron do you have to be to check in with your local television news station for tips for dealing with the heat and avoiding heat exhaustion and stroke? “Listen to me I make 16 grand a year and I know what’s best for you.”
My personal favorite for which I am so grateful is the suggestion that I drink lots of water otherwise known as hydrating myself. I also like the recommendation to avoid strenuous exercise in the middle of the day and to bring my pets inside.
I like long walks in the high heat while wearing a rubber sweat suit. I just wish I sweated more. I like to see spots and then try to connect them. I like it when my male body is so hot my testicle head for my ankles.
So I stay inside and watch Will and Grace for the first time on the Lifetime channel. A gay character laments turning 30 and sighs “Do you have any idea how old that is in gay years?” I think aging Queen is worse than aging Skeezer Dog.
I can’t watch another Mel Gibson analysis. I am happy that a Catholic boy with 100 million in the bank thinks the Jews are out to get him. I was going to write a joke about him steeping out of the car and spewing Jewish rants and joke, ”Yea, there are plenty of Jewish Patrol cops patrolling the hills of Malibu “ like that wouldn’t be the height of underachievement for a Jewish kid then I find out that the cop was Jewish and his answer to a personal verbal assault was “the guy was drunk” you know like Mel Gibson called me a fucking Jew and I am so devastated.
I always support first amendment freedom of stupidity and Americans lead the world in slang put downs and we should work from those strengths and not forget who we are. Like the “War on Terror.” We fall back to inoffensive correctness in talking about losers who target civilians who could also beat them up if given five seconds warning.
How about the war on rag headed pussy mother fuckers? Shit our enemies could be sent psycho if we simply lampooned and ridiculed them on the cartoon network.
I’m going to the gym and then I’m walking on the boardwalk. I hope rich alcoholic crack headed hamburger eaters are on display at outside bars. Somehow these people make me feel better about myself which shows how far I have to go down the social ladder of loser relativity.
“Do The Right Thing” a Spike Lee film about a heat wave in urban America. It ends in a race riot with Koreans, Thais, Blacks, Italians, Puerto Ricans and Jews beating each other over the head with big nasty metal trash cans as kids with fat butts spray firehydrant water all over a rampaging crowd.
I like Gibson for his out of control honest stupidity. And he doesn't hate jews he's simply afraid of them.

Max Von Freddogg