Freddogg Off The Chain

I played football for Temple University and when on the road stayed at the best hotels but I never knew where I was I was just in the hotel. I still don’t know where I was but remember the night before playing Hofstra in November —oh sure now I know it’s on Long Island- I walked out front to find an ocean staring at me. I couldn’t believe it! I thought I was in Wildwood and went searching for the Wild Mouse.
Do you know that the monorail ride on a metal mouse over an ocean pier was shut down after the mouse and its mouse boy rider plummeted into the raging surf and the freaking guy drown because the concussion had knocked him out.
Fundamentalist zealots believe that god is an active interceder in the lives of humans and if that’s true all I can say is “what the?” and I hope I don’t ride away from earth stapped to a Giant Tin Mouse but ours is not do reason why but to do or die and if that includes a tin mouse then so be it and that is the word of the lord.

So I’m in this hotel before the Kings Point game standing in the lobby with the rest of the starting offense walking through blocking assignments against a defense also wearing shirts and ties. I knew it was stupid but I don’t mind stupid in the least.

I was the starting right guard and the coach was going over how to block a stack over the center. “Now step with your left foot to the down guy Frederick. If he comes your way, block him. If he slants away, your next step is towards the linebaker who will be coming your way.”

"Coach I am so quick off the ball that if I explode out of my stance it’s unrealistic to think I can change direction at close to a 90 degree angle on my second step even though I know that’s the current coaching manual accepted theory.”

“Here’s another accepted theory Frederick. Shut up and do what you’re told! And by the way with your great quickness you won’t mind running point on the kickoff middle return flying wedge.”

We Temple guys knew from nothing about Kings Point or that it took the combined SAT scores of our offensive line to get past admissions. We were all shocked to walk into a stadium where all the fans were dressed in uniforms roaring like it was the Army/Navy game.

We received the deep kick straight down the center and I drifted back to the point position of the flying wedge. I looked back to make sure the back caught the football. He tucked it under his arm and screamed, ”Go!”

I exploded on my first step only to see this 6’3” 220 pound wedge breaker focused on my helmet, screaming and heading right for me. I went to basic instinct survival mode and began to dive into the grass. This maniac planted the top of his helmet into the back of my neck and lifted me off the ground and backwards. I was airborne for five years—I mean yards.

The next Monday in film session Head Coach George Makris kept running the play over and over in slow motion and each time it evidently got funnier because my teammates were on the floor.

‘Where you going at Frederick?”

“Where am I going what?”

“Guess that first step of yours wasn’t fast enough to get out of the way. What’s going on there, did you drop a quarter? What were you doing, grazing? How’s you neck?”

If god is listening I’d just like to say, ”O.K. you got me. It was funny-to everyone but one- just like the Wildwood Wild Mouse ride—Roll Tide Roll!”

Freddogg