Freddogg Off The Chain

The “Dagsboro Dog” arrived by ambulance late Saturday night and the boy was way beyond “just ain’t right. “ The Emergency department at Beebe Hospital was alerted by CB radio to expect a crimped by copper ring around the penis and to dial up the resident Freudian because a quick consult before castration was a looming and dooming possibility.

This story got out and I had it because I am a story conduit but with no affection or affinity for discarded construction waste and cooper parts.

This guy was Captain Jacked and sexualy satisfied on a Saturday night then fell asleep in the trailer all oiled up with black matted body hair and shit. He napped some then his girlfriend saw the ring of cooper amidst all the other debris decorating the room and slipped in onto his penis, which is already a word I’m tired of writing about.

The biology of the matter is that the blood flowed in initiating erect mode but could not flow out and then the head began to expand and change colors like cualiflower on lSD.

The doctors tried the drywall bucket of ice trick but it didn’t work. Then they summoned the plastic caste mechanic but that saw not only didn’t work but it heated up the copper. The entire time this was happening the nurses were glancing sideways at each other because in some strange and macabre way it was pretty hilarious and they were anxious to get home and tell their husbands the story alhtough real mean don’t like wives who bring penis stories home from work.

Exasperated which rhymes with the way wrong word the Doctors paged the hospital maintenance man figuring in Sussex County every guy with a tool belt can solve most any mechanical problem.

The older gentleman thought a machine had blown a fuse so when the doctors pulled back the sheet revealing the hideous deformity of a penis left too long on the produce table of a third wolrd market place the guy was agast at the gastliness of it all. “I ain’t touching that dam thing, ”he screamed. “That’s the dangest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Somehow by the use of mainlined Valium and fiberoptics or optical mouse and lazer beam the ring was removed. And to answer all questions I don’t know whether it was a water line of gas line piece of tubing but with PVC you have a better chance, anytime your life is in such a state of flux.

Paging Dr.Freddogg