Freddogg Off The Chain

I got the Rainman picture but also wanted Rainwoman so I googled it and this is who popped up. Can you imagine? "Kmart Sucks!"

Last Sunday I was sitting in the Eagles pressbox through four quarters and overtime next to a multiple disordered crazy woman who remained in a state of over stimulation, unable to process stimuli without writing it all down on a yellow tablet like Rainman while complaining to the Tech Support person on her left that he was an idiot.

This woman and her sidekick were doing cutaways to national radio feeds. That’s when after a score they make a call on a 1960’s land line desk phone and say. “Here in Philadelphia The Giants drew first blood when Eli Manning engineered a seven play 67 yard drive finding Amani Toomer all alone in the end zone behind Roderick Hood for a 31 yard touchdown. This is Donna the crazy fat whale wearing a relief map double x tee shirt and ball cap reporting live from Philadelphia. And I wish someone would scratch Allentown because my back itches like a bitch.”

This woman had carpal tunnel syndrome on her left hand, a casted right ankle and complained that her blood was getting hot. She was helpless without her sidekick who was a real professional and good at what he was doing but she just kept up this relentless assault of busting on him and he just kept taking it and I admired his professional restraint and patience but at the same time I wanted to kick his ass before kicking her ass because all O/C disorder and hypochondria aside the bitch needed a beat down.

And that’s why I’m a pro because I can write good stuff amidst all kinds of distractions. And you would be amazed in Philadelphia how unprofessional the professional journalists are, talking loudly about bullshit stuff and playing computer solitaire on their laptops during timeouts.

But back to those who can’t see the forest until they line up the trees any profession that relies on statistics, charts, graphs and patterns attracts a high percentage of non adaptable list makers and pattern seekers who just don’t get it. The teaching profession is filled with non-adaptable anally disordered personality types who specialize in making life miserable for students.

Everybody should be like me, footloose and fancy free and best of all quiet.

Reporting live from Philly this is Fred Doggie Dogg