Freddogg Off The Chain

My brain is a storage house of Google images long before “Google” meant anything besides “to tickle inappropriately.”
Back in my early high school days there was this girl and I’m sorry to say I can’t remember her actual name because everyone just called her "Guns” after the Academy Award winning 1961 adventure classic “The Guns of Navarone” starring Gregory Peck and Anthony Quinn.
This film showed big menacing guns sticking out of the face of a rocky cliff , they were long, pointed, loaded and dangerous. Our girl “Guns”, sporting a 1961 industrial strength wired brassiere that came to sharp points at the end, had gigantic breasts I guess, because that’s how she got her nickname and she didn’t like it but there wasn’t much anyone could do about it. In modern parlance I’m sure the girl had issues although by today’s standards she’d be Queen of the Gym.
There are recent in depth articles in the New York Times and Time Magazine about early onset puberty caused by chemicals in the environment sometimes that environment being the habitat of the nuclear family.
Some poor little girl had breasts pop out early and pubic hair develop but then her voice began to deepen so her moron parents took her to the Pediatrician and if you learn anything in life you learn those people don’t know shit they even hire Hispanics to assemble the plastic toys in the waiting room.
The girl was referred to an Endocrinologist who discovered her testosterone levels 100 times above normal while her dad looked like Barry Bonds in a one size too small Under Armour shirt.
Turns out that moisturized daddy was rubbing testosterone cream on his body and the girl was absorbing it through her skin. Talk about a parent in need of an ass kicking.
Middle Schools always reminded me of the movie “The Howling” where normal people transformed into werewolves or as we call them in Philly “WereWuffs”. There are guys with squeaky voices while other sound like Obscene phone callers before caller I.D. sent them all to chat rooms and fantasy football leagues.
There is a link below that will explain to you all you ever didn’t want to know about this topic.
Puberty is weird and it’s amazing it works as well as it does. I knew this kid fat smart kid nick named Blub and when he was in third grade he stood on second base at the Little League Park and proved to everyone he had early onset pubic hair. Mothers were horrified but Blub wanted to prove a point which I guess was “you are never too young to flash signs to the catcher!”
Then there was this one other kid and his nickname was Moonie and he was smooth like a Right On Cue Ball speaking of which Moonie had delayed onset puberty and wanted to prove it one day on the basketball court but everyone ran away shielding their eyes.
When this is for real it is tragic and not funny but you will never stop kids from making cruel jokes. And that is its own disorder.

Howling At The Moonie

Freddogg

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/10/17/science/17puberty.html?8dpc