Freddogg Off The Chain

"It was Christmas in the prison and the food was real good we had turkey and pistols carved out of wood.” John Prine

A beautiful and unseasonably balmy Christmas morning in the greater northeast quadrant of the United State as dreary weather moves in which makes me happy because of low expectations to get out of my own way plus “ The sound of gunfire off in the distance I’m getting used to it now” as the Ducks Unlimited UnNaturalists drink ginger brandy, laugh heartily at nothing the way rednecks do, and thank baby Jesus for a surplus of geese.

I was working out on the floor at Gold’s Gym on Christmas Eve not noticing the music until finally I looked around and everyone was gay except for me and the song, ”Because I’m your lady and you are my man” and I wondered if a gay man could think that song was beautiful because personally I think whiny and longing laments suck, preferring a line from an Eddie Murphy song, ”Put an alligator in your butt.” And is it possible there was no gay apostle? Then why the biblical rule? No need for the rule then no rule. "Thou shall not lie day with animals except to keep warm" is also somewhere in the book.

“Darby you’re looking particularly fluffy this morning but wait—there’s a rule about such unnatural acts-let’s go wax some geese and you can swim out and bring back the dead ones. No rule against that!”

Merry Christmas and remember when old friends don’t recognize you on sight it’s never good news for you.

Peace and Harmony

Professor Freddogg