Freddogg Off The Chain

PAINTED QUE BALL- A young balded white head, offset a purple and black painted face, that angrily yelled and cheered for the Ravens during his first and only quarter of -in person- NFL playoff football. Steve McNair threw a pass to David Wilcox down to the Colt’s 7 yardline. Right on Que , young drunk boy turned around and started bashing his own head and pounding the pressbox plexiglass-not plaxiglass. Someone inside used the silent count to signal stop. Young boy then pounded harder and went into a freestyle F word rap that impressed the international press corps. Then four Baltimore cops of color came to get him and as drunk as he was he went quietly much to their dissapointment or was it mine. It was a long road to a short game. Outside the stadium after the game I once again encountered a “Caucasians Gone Wild" unrehearsed conflagration. Some drunk Yo Boy skater skin headed X Games dude called a young woman the B word and the W word or the H word if you don’t know the W is silent. Someone out of the purple, unrelated to anything just like me, on the way to his duely dodge pickup truck, just grabbed the boy and rammed him into the stadium brick with 10 yards momentum behind him. Then as he continued to restrain th,e no sense, no feeling in his limbs, stunned to submission, skateboarder, the woman charged like a nearsighted rhino swinging a baby Playmate into the boys face. She called him “Ghetto Punk”. The crowd cried foul and called her the H word. And you think Philly is a tough town?
Amazingly the dually rednecks from Fredneck, Maryland pulled alongside me as we jostled for inside position leading to the turn right light and the Rt. 95 escape ramp. I waved them in because I don’t repsond in a medically positive way to having my head rammed into mortored red brick. One guy got out and came behind the truck to grab—you guessed it-two Budweisers from the cooler. We were stuck in traffic so he got out again and this time delivered a Bud to the homeless Dick Gregory bright eyed sitting on a wooden skooter looking panhandler who received it in supplacant fashion and who to better appreciate a free drink than one addicted to alcohol.
I wish this story would end but five miles out on 95, following the Dodge Duelly Cummings Turbo Deisel Crew Cab and Baltmore Beltway signs there were three cop cars with flashing lights who had pulled over the very same “thick as a brick” rammed headed hard head who was miserably failing his sobriety field test.
I’m glad I don’t drink!

Old Grandaddy Freddoggy