Freddogg Off The Chain

We are all naked pretty much the same so what's the big deal or to borrow from Deliverance "The Big Squeal?"”

Remember when mooning was fun? Now it's a sexual offense that will get you sitting under the bare light bulb in a local police station being interrogated for every unsolved sex crime in the history of your home state.

I was never a mooner but I had friends who were compulsive in casting the moon shadow in a sort perverted Ground Hog Day weather prognostication. "Look no shadow! Do you think it has something to do with the rain"”?

The aftermath of the storm of 1962 in Seaside Heights New Jersey and I was sardined into a car of friends that was following a lead car of compadres loaded into Polish Paul's pristine 1959 Chevy with 400 horse power.

Paul was a stout polish guy with a thick trunk, a big hairy ass, and glass packed dual exhaust. Paul was not at all witty so he over compensated by demonstrating creative ways to moon the unsuspecting and unwashed asses of the masses.

So there we were driving down the main street of Seaside Heights-South Philly By The Sea--energized like retrievers on their way to the ocean. I was in the trail car or tail car as it were. Then Paul did the seemingly impossible by driving with his big flacid black hair matted wet bare ass hanging out the window. Wade was riding shotgun and steering while working the pedals. It was an optical illusion seldom seen by mortal men in the age of written history and glossy text book pages.

A cop appeared out of nowhere in his Galaxy Ford. Paul's best friends in the whole wide whale world would not let him back into the car. The moment was just too precious.

The cop approached and in an understated vocal manner roasting Paul'’s rump asking for its registration before taking him to jail. No one not on drugs ever laughed as hard as me. Five hours later Paul was sprung by his irate daddy who was thicker and more hairy but otherwise looked the same.

"You think a hairy polish ass at 35 miles an hour is funny to your friends,"”the dad asked? "I think it was the funniest thing I ever saw," I just blurted out and everyone shook his head up and down that it was indeed funny.

Dad shrugged and nodded walked away, then he stopped, bent over and high tide went two feet above flood stage.

Thank you god.

Freddogg