Freddogg Off The Chain

“I’m your host Freddogg, You’re listening to two women talking in a bank while blocking the door and we’ll be right back after a word from our sponsor.”

“Hi I’m Patty Duke like your dog. Actually I'm Sally Fields just like your yard. I not only can’t get any good roles but I have osteoporosis and my idea of exercise is to curl two pound dumbbells but at least I look better than stupid Bert Reynolds hunched over with his barbell black hair in that Man Law beer commercial. Did Sears Weather Beater have an indoor latex sale?

I take Boniva once a month whether I need it or not and when that bone on bone sound startles my love partner and he exclaims ‘Yikes what was that?” I tell him it must have been his hip replacement because it sure as hell wasn’t my spine—not this time.”

‘Hi This is Fredman back at the bank where the Dos Bimbos are still blocking the door like a double team on the fullback belly play. Maybe they can entertain us with more stories of their grandchildren. But wait, the teller just threw them each a baby dog biscuit. They caught them in midair like if the Willie’s Mays and McCovey were Yellow Labs. Wait, everybody is Kung Fu fighting because of milk bone envy. Free Willy, the doorway is clear!“

Join the program tomorrow when I will talk to “fat bitch cart battery died” blocking Aisle five Food Lion shopper with food stamps and tie dye double x shirt with sunburst design throw back hippy momma trendy coffee drinking somebody please give me a freaking break before I snap---until then--keep the faith.

Freddoggy