Freddogg Off The Chain

“People dress up on Halloween as what they secretly wish to be” my wife told me years ago which is why I never dressed as a female or cheerleader but plenty of my friends have and a few were way too good at it. A man dressed as a woman for fun should still move like a man but some guys get all pouting and prissy and gay so even women look at them and say ‘yuk” except many modern women like men like that finding real guys gross disgusting and slobby so what’s their point?

I don’t like Halloween but I’ll go up on stage without trepidation but only as my smartass self. What I’m getting at is my whole life is based on playing a version of myself that I’m at peace with and that’s why I never look in mirrors and seldom consent to photos because mirrors and cameras don’t lie and I need lying in the form of a little self deception and I find nothing wrong with that.

I dressed as Yasser Arafat for a party a long time ago and I was cool being an Al Fatah menace and Arafat looked like Ringo Star only much uglier so in a way I was a handsome idealized “Yasser that’s my ugly baby.”

Most film actors can’t act and most theater actors to me are just high school kids with louder voices. I could play a Mello Dramatic role like a bad guy in a spaghetti western which brings me to Clint Eastwood. Clint is popular not because he has any range of acting but because we like Clint and many of us guys can relate to the outlaw Josey Wales in fact many of my female relatives are whales but that’s a water tank in another dimension.
Author James Dickey used his own son as a "kneel in" for Ned Beatty in the rape scene in Diliverence becuase he thought his kid needed to toughen up a bit. We all know Ned for playing that part-he showed such courage to his craft squeling like a pig and shit- but who played the Hillbilly becuase that dude is still out there for real attending Hollowean parties.

If I absolutely had to go on stage as a stand up cross dresser the only way I could do it would be to wear a backwards plastic batting helmet with a fat mitt on my left hand. “Hey batter batter! Swing batter!”

Freddogg

Note I actually had author and poet James Dickey as a teacher during my third sophomore year at a community college. He was a Korean pilot and Clemson football lineman and when he read poetry out loud I listened and I learned that some strong men have soft souls so why are there so many prissy poets?