Freddogg Off The Chain

My life in 10 minutes! Works for me! I have been skipping Dr. Appointments for the last four years and the cool thing is a physical is recommended once a year for old guys like me but if you skip out by reschedule that’s considered polite so they book you nine months down the road and it’s not like they don’t care if you ever show up but they don’t care if you ever show up.
So I called my doctor who is a friend of mine 20 years or more figuring I should get blood work and PSA and testosterone tests plus ask him if he will fill a Super G plastic bag with free samples of any drug he thinks may make me feel better or function better. My appointment for tomorrow is for 10 minutes just enough time for the tall and tan afro nurse whom I have also known forever to say something like “I remember when you were built like a condor” now get your fat ass on the scale and who doesn’t enjoy a joke at his own expense because I know it ain’t me.
My medical complaints usually center around “I just don’t feel right” and that is answered by “what about you doesn’t feel right” and I respond “my feet” then it’s “well what about your feet?” and it’s like” look Doc, I only have 10 minutes to explain that my feet seem not to burn and not pins and needles and I can still do calf raises with 300 pounds but there’s something wrong because I’m always aware of them and who walks around aware of feet?”
I started taking a supplement recommended by a friend eight years ago-I just opened the jar a month ago- called Chromium Picolinate which has something to do with insulin and weight loss and muscle growth then went online and read of side effects and discovered that if a hamster took the same milligram dosage that I ingest every morning or if I increased my pill to the size of 250 pound hamster we would both frantically run the exercise wheel like beasts of the jungle while looking from side to side in paranoid agitation only stopping to suck water directly from a gravity feed spigot.
Tomorrow for 10 minutes I enter the medical establishment unless I call in sick. Any suggestions for free samples or unnecessary tests I should request?
This may not be funbut it's sure to be funny.

Peace

Paging Dr. Freddogg