Freddogg Off The Chain

I am a Catholic boy and have the startle reflex to prove it. I took my hits and listened to the dogma and like most of my contemporaries I absorbed it all with a grain of salt realizing that god could turn me into iodized salt like the Lot’s wife who turned around to catch a little live action sodomy. Care for a little Pillar talk?
Tomorrow is Good Friday which if you are a Baby Boomer Catholic boy was always used as an excuse for your parents to lock you down for three hours and I an only guess what they were doing but I’m sure it involved bunny costumes.
I remember a kid in Grammar School getting a nun beat down on Holy Thursday for telling the Raleigh Coupon joke. Raleigh Coupons were on the back of Raleigh Cigarettes and could be saved and redeemed for toasters, vacuum cleaners and small dogs.
The “Jesus Joke” was on the march to Mount Calvary when the woman comes out of the crowd to wipe the face of Jesus and his face is imprinted in twilight zone permanence on her skirt then a guy appears and asked,”Jesus do you collect Raleigh Coupons “and Jesus responds,”Certainly where do you think I got this nifty cross?”
Catholic boys made jokes about everything because to believe in sacred cows could bring down the high heat of heaven and in an unintended way many of us believed that Jesus understood humor but it is never mentioned in the bible because zealots are too busy bashing and crucifying non believers to get any joke.
The Crucifixion of Jesus is a scary story and I feel deep sorrow for the man and if the man were god how different would things have been if he ascended at that point and just hovered and watched them cower and say how sorry they were but fear is not the answer, love is the answer and has nothing to do with being afraid which is why Catholic boys make jokes because we know that god will love us in spite of ourselves


Father Freddogg