Freddogg Off The Chain

Super skinny people can go hump back skeletal on you like they’re hanging from your front door and they will stay there until you say something like, ”Have you lost weight fat ass? The reason I’m asking is you look like a mother humping hunger striker on day 42. But you do look hydrated.”
Food is fun and ritualistic and the better it taste the more you need to eat lots of it. Otherwise it would be natures joke like the stuff that tastes the best is the worst to eat. What evolutionary sense does that make?
Power up to your caloric intake and let the double recessives of your body type pop out for all to see. Trust me the boomer generation currently moving out of tanning booths and into retirement communities is the first to have a plastic BMI Xrated caliber inside their tote bag right next to the performance enhancement medication.
‘What is this Waldo and never and I mean never ask me to pinch your 35 percent Triceps fat again and then say ’while your about measuring things’ because I’m not about measuring anything that can’t be made into a cake.”
Irish breakfast is the key just down it all from cheese omelet to sausage, toast and butter and ham and juice and hash brown potatoes then go out and do something besides hanging around waiting to eat again.
Healthy eating and a well balanced diet are about the most boring thing you can do with the rest of your life. You know those people under a lifetime of restraint and always in control? The common denominator is they are never funny and rarely interesting I just want to force feed them deviled eggs like pushing a heartworm pill down the gullet of a reluctant retriever. Now here comes the cookie dough Abra Cadaver!
I know you’re thinking this rant is a “thin” disguise for self loathing but with Memorial Day and graduation parties and June weddings coming around on my calendar I say, ”Get that skinny no butt guy off a grill duty and don’t ever let that recovering alcoholic serve me another drink”.
What are you trying to tell me because I ain’t listening.
Friedrich Nagel rhymes with Bagel and he was a paradoxical philosopher which is exactly my point and if you think animal fat doesn’t feed starved brain cells then you are probably skinny and stupid too.
"I will lick the bowl before I roll." Grand Mom Rose

Friedrich Von Freddogg