Freddogg Off The Chain

Grandmother Rose possessed with a futuristic wisdom was always throwing down nuggets for her grandchildren to pick up but I’m the only one who paid attention because I knew she was “hard wired” into a philosophy so basic it was like splitting the atoms of human behavior.
“Every time Poppy gets a new machine (car) he re-centers downward the age of the women he lusts after,”I overheard her telling one of my adult relatives who had no idea what the freak she was talking about but I did and I was only 10.
Suddenly she glanced down at me and said, “Never have a serious conversation with a naked person be they stranger or spouse. Just follow that rule and you will never regret it.”
Now I’m retired old guy who goes to the gym in the morning and yesterday I walk into the locker room and there is retired “talks too much” guy fresh out of the shower and he is naked with a leg up on a bench toweling himself a hand on each end of the towel like he is sawing his crotch in half with a terrycloth tool. I felt like I was an extra in some bath house movie.
I averted my eyes because I knew “we’re all men here” but nobody needs to see that freaking planet of the apes bullshit. Then he starts up a conversation and I’m thinking “where’s macular degeneration” when you really need it. By the way this is not a gay thing it’s just a naked guy thing as there are men who have a naked personality like they think it’s relaxing or o.k. but to me it is only one thing and that is all the way weird.
"My grandmother told me when I was 10 never to have a serious conversation with a naked person and the reason I remember that from 50 years ago is that she was naked when she told me just to drive home her machine or as we say in modern times-her point," I told the man who had no idea what I was talking about so he ironically concluded that I was strange.
Imagine a woman saying to her husband,”Get naked but don’t even thing of touching me I just want to clarify some things and asked you a few questions.”
That boy will run like Carl Lewis and if you ever see Carl Lewis hanging naked in a locker-room you will run like Ben Johnson.

Peace
Freddogg