Freddogg Off The Chain

Back in the fall of 1976 three of my EMH Educable Mentally Handicapped sophomore girls failed Foods 1 out there in the mainstream and because I was their on- board advocate I went to the galley to find out why.
The next day I was called to the Principal's office who told me I had to back down from my abrasive confrontations with mainstream teachers and my responses was “what the hell are you talking about” followed by a long explanation that “it was a joke” but if you ever find yourself explaining a joke well “it ain’t no joke no more.”
I said to this Homey Economics Teacher that I wanted to run a series of two word meals past her critical reviewing expertise starting with Grilled Cheese and scrambled eggs and ending with an advanced three item Sunday dinner like Tuna Casserole and deviled eggs which involved boiling and mixing, cutting and folding and shit like that there.
My girls, who were so nice and just a bit backward, failed Foods 1-yaw ready for this- because in spite of repeated tutoring through worksheets and retakes of tests they couldn’t set a banquet table.
I just responded “You are all the way freaking kidding me, aren’t you?”
Three years later I took the soon to graduate young women-this is before slash and burn up the bodies No Child Left Behind Legislation- to a local furniture store for their free little wooden hope chest boxes given to high schhol girls who were graduating.
The young week day a.m. furniture guy handing them each a cardboard information card to fill out and the girls looked back at me in a panic.
Now if you’ve ever been handed something to fill out you do it quickly then hand it back then an annoyed with your dumb ass clerky person fills in all the shit you missed.
My girls looked to me for help and I explained “Where it says name write your name and so on.”
This guy looks at me and said “These people are graduating from high school and can’t even write their own names”?
“Listen to Mr. Furniture Store guy getting all uppity,”I said. “Trust me you don’t want me to start working on your overachieving ass I’ll have you eating every throw pillow in the place speaking of stuffin and home economics.”
These same three girls sent kids to the high school a generation later who were Honor Society and college scholarship type people which just goes to prove one thing, I only wish I knew what it was.

Fondue You Too

Ballpark Freddogg