Freddogg Off The Chain

Reporter to famed bank robber Willie Sutton."Willie why do you rob banks?"
"Becuase that's where the money is."

If you have never pointed a loaded gun at a warm blooded mammal it is wise to practice at home. "Practice? We talkin practice."

I can’t use real names in this story involving real people because of the Google Search phenomena would trace it back to me and then my big brother might get mad and start chasing me around the house.
A guy Tom taught high school with for an entire career, a guy he carpooled with for 20 years, a teacher who was a three time teacher of the year, recently moved to Connecticut with his wife to be closer to his son and two grandchildren. The local newspaper said the couple was living off social security disability benefits to which I say,”Caucasian Please! Just shut the hell up and deal like the rest of us working/retired slobs. And I’m tired of elderly obese sloths getting handicapped plates, which is why I always park in their place if I’m late covering a road race because what are they going to do park close then run?
Anyway this friend of my brother's was down on his luck, morose and financially strapped, not to mention depressed because among his catastrophic maladies was skin cancer. And his wife suffered from a myriad of psychological disorders especially panic attack which is why he kept poking her blouse in a bit of panic button humor.
So one fine day as the song goes, this couple decided to get two loaded handguns and rob a bank. Now I can’t imagine a state of mind where I point a loaded pistol at a small town teller while my panic attack wife sits out on the street with her own gun and the engine of her VW Passat running and CD changer on random.
Teacher of the Year walked out of the bank with 10 grand and 16 minutes later the couple was in custody.
I called the state police office in the small Connecticut town because my brother wanted to know what was going on and I actually talked with the arresting officer who told me it was the strangest and most bizarre case he had ever had the pleasure to interrogate and all but said it was filed under “what the fuck?”
The destitute couple each made bails of $500,000 and are now awaiting trial. I talked my brother into calling the guy which he did and basically if not ironically the getaway driver may walk as part of plea agreement.
You will see this case go national and turned into a Lifetime movie. I admit it, I wish one of my friends and his wife would rob a bank preferably armed with shoulder sidewinder missle launchers. I think that would be so cool.

Freddogg