Freddogg Off The Chain

This Freddoggs life found itself last Saturday afternoon emceeing a Blue Crab festival which included little people in dancing contests, trike races, hula-hoop competitions and other activities I’ve repressed with three days lag time behind me.

In fact, I turned a hula-hoop on it’s edge and said, “Greatest invention since the wheel, so easy a caveman can do it”, and that joke flew over like a radio controlled biplane which in fact did fly over and I announced that to having no idea what I was talking about and doing a dam good job at it.

As I circled the bails of straw with cordless microphone, walkie-talkie, cell phone, IPOD, program, and reporter’s notebook in various cargo pockets, I also had a camera around my neck for non posed up close shots of kids just being who they are-young and cute and annoying and suffering from lack of attention or too much attention disorder.

Back when” our” twins were seven, we hosted the dreaded little boy afternoon three hour party for too many. A boy named Billy got there and the first thing he did was sit down on the couch next to me and introduce himself, ”Hi, my name is Billy.”

“I don’t care,”I said. “See all these little boys racing around? You need to get down and race around as well.”

Little precocious pre school adult people pleasers, I know the syndrome and I was having none of it. I don’t trust anyone under 16 who is socially suave and congenial and relaxed with adults. That is always the drug dealing burglar-it’s a lead pipe cinch.

Kids are cute so what happens to them? That’s right they become us who swear we’re cute too and I know I am but I’m not too sure about you.

Get off of my couch!

Freddogg