Freddogg Off The Chain

Projection is a human defense mechanism employed to take the focus off your own fat ass. That’s why I hate group feedings because those who arrive early or are punctual to the second get nervous when a big person like myself shows up late.
“Better watch out, Fredman’s here, hide all the food, you knew he’d show up.”
Well let me tell everyone something. I have never organized my day around food one way or another. If I feel like eating I do, if I don’t, I won’t, it’s just that simple.
If someone has a tray of deviled eggs and offers me ”Are you hungry” my response is “what is your point and I hope that’s a salt shaker in your 9 vault pocket so please turn it off.”
There is just too much ritual surrounding eating and the flip side not eating. You know why alcoholics like to bartend? Because they enjoy watching people get messed up the way underweight people like making cupcakes then watching everyone eat one but them.
Once a Yuppy hostess proudly pointed to the grill and the hotdogs purchased right from the Slaughter House. “Those hotdogs are your size, ’she said, and I just raised my eyebrows and the joke started to be gotten by a new person every 10 seconds as the non humorous men with serious issues said things like ‘Better get some Smokey links for Fredman’s size, fire up the bratwurst “ but I refused to participate in some ball park wiener ghetto game of the dozens.
Twenty minutes since the cowbell rang for lunch. I’m off on my social psychology journey. I’ll be right back!
Nothing left but a few potato chips and Old Bay salsa but speaking of sexual food references I did see someone plugging a watermelon.
No thank you I only eat seedless. I don’t know what it means either.


Ball Park Freddogg