Freddogg Off The Chain

I watched a Thursday night football game on ESPN last week featuring South Florida at Rutgers and I really found sideline reporter Erin Andrews to be so annoying. It wasn’t until I googled her image that I realized she got the job because she is supposed to be a “major babe” so like fine go to the playboy channel and let me watch the game.
Erin Andrews actually said this ““South Florida Coach Jim Leavitt just pulled quarterback Matt Grothe aside and said “It’s time for you to start thinking with your head.” Is there a ‘real guy” out there in the entire world who doesn’t understand the two headed monster joke?”
Speaking of saying clever things that turn out dumb last Saturday I was the emcee at a Buddy Walk for kids with Downs Syndrome. I was calling them up to an outdoor bandstand to get medals, hats, pennants and discount liquor store coupons and whatever when a kid came up behind me.
“Do worry down here is Sussex county everyone comes in the backdoor” I joked, and it’s true, it’s also true the Rehoboth is a gay town and suddenly I was in the wrong joke out of context, the joke that isn’t funny I was Erin Andrews, a bandstand babe but not really, because Miss Piggy began to wear me out.
I was talking to a fastidious fit couple who were elated I am not because after all I swore I was so cool with my microphone when Cheryl who is clinically short and played the roller skating Miss Piggy in the Muppet Movie call me Mr. Pot Belly, got a laugh, so said it again.
I struck back because the little piggy wiggly was getting on my nerves. I am here donating my time at a fundraiser for Downs Syndrome buddies and Miss Piggy is wearing me out? What is that all about?”
Cheryl just found that delightful, got a big smile, hugged me around the waste and rested her head on my belly. “Save the Planet” I rolled off my tongue, which she found hysterical.
My grandmother used to say, ”Don’t get too full of yourself or you will grow up to look like Poppy.” Poppy is the roll and I am the seed. See you at the bagel shop!

Freddpigg