Freddogg Off The Chain

I haven’t had a drink in weeks and I don’t do mass buffet feedings and I don’t particularly like backyard garden parties with country band and portable dance floor and old people in straw cowboy hats two stepping and smirking like they’re rocking my world. But nonetheless “there I was” the Elephant in the middle of the backyard having a difficult time being inanely social and small talking.
A discussion about Marion Jones came up and I mentioned that we are a culture of performance enhancement and physical augmentation so who cares and how is it different from a person-I pointed to a guy-who takes an aspirin everyday to prevent heart attack thereby robbing the rest of us the adrenaline high and pleasure of trying to jump start him at a party-‘Queer”-I mean Clear!”
Then a “nationally acclaimed” photographer introduced me to his “lady friend”- known as a Bitch in Hip-Hop culture-as a small time writer of some renown -and I corrected him-you meant to say small town- and she then pompously asked, ”Oh, do you write fiction.” And I went Philadelphia Society and said,”I don’t write no fucking fiction” my idea of novel would be a dog playing the drums.
And then not surprising I was alone with myself until the raw meat and chicken legs hit the table and I guess I was annoyingly in the wrong place and space because people kept asking me “Are you in line” and finally I told one women who was spinning a leg in her mouth and out came a chicken tibia and fibula and I said ‘I am standing in the middle of a yard and I am not in your line I am just standing here not everyone standing somewhere in this world is in your chicken leg line has that ever occurred to you?” She spun another leg in her mouth then not in the least bit fazed or offended said, ”Well then could you just go stand someplace else because everyone thinks your in line and you keep starting a new line that doesn’t move and doesn’t go anywhere.”
I just love people because you could be the most creative writer and inventor of fiction in the world but “the man who starts lines” is a concept only created in reality.

Freddogg