Thursday, October 18, 2007
Jugout
Back in 1970 the last period of the day in a seventh garde classroom I was faking my way through a film strip on Ancient Egypt. There came a sentence: ” The Pharaohs were buried in a casket called a Sarcophagus.”
I had never seen the word before in my life because I hate all things Egyptian from camels to sphinxes and the Nile river delta and shut up already about the cradle of civilization because I’m a sports guy and who did you ever beat, you old six day war victims?
I read the word out loud and pronounced it “Sack-row-fuck-us!” The class went wall peeling crazy with young boys screaming “he said fuck us! The teacher said “fuck us!”
And I’m thinking “fuck you little weasels!”
Four score and many years later I walk into a high school hallway and stop a couple of softball girls.
“Hey girls, I have to take pictures at your game today. Do you know if there is any room in the jugout?”
They looked at each other then back at me.
“What?”
“Dugout! Dugout! I, of course, said, room in the dugout?”
“You said jugout Fredman. “ They once again looked at each other then back at me.
“See you after school in the jugout Fredman.”
I guess that was my Sports Center Freudian fantasy and the more you talk and say "I didn't mean jugout I meant dugout" the more guilty you look.
Freddoggy
