Freddogg Off The Chain

An exasperated psychiatrist throws up his hands then looks over at his patient with Multiple Personality Disorder and says,” Look man. I just can’t do this anymore. I’m not making any progress. Just who the hell are you?”
The patient looks back: “We’ll have to get back to you on that one.”
Last Thursday it was high winds and overcast skies, a little chilly and the perfect time to take the dogs to the beach. Susan and I were having fun watching them chase each other and a tennis ball into the ocean. They were on leashes but we were not.
I looked to the south and saw a man on a bike heading in our direction. Darby dog was secured by Susan while Jesse swam in the ocean.
The man stopped and began to lecture us about park rules including dogs on leashes and pulled out an I.D. tag that identified him as a member of the Citizen’s patrol. He said a woman down the way had her dog off the leash and it was chasing birds. I recognized this guy as an annoying community fruitcake and my blood began to boil. I told him he was dismissed and wondered under what circumstances I could pull out a Citizen’s patrol card and start lecturing a guy twice as big that was with his wife and two dogs? There are no circumstances short of a Euclid stone quarry dump truck tire rolling over my head that could change me into that person.
This is the fourth time in the last year that a citizen has had the courage to interrupt me and a dog in nature. The entire clamor of Mike Vick killing dogs is s smoke screen. Most people treat all dogs like criminals under house arrest. A dog on a leash is not a real dog it’s a fucking balloon dog.
I am not capable of smashing an annoying certified dog vigilante person in the face because I am a humorist and must forfeit that title if I start knocking people out. Sometimes I just say something like,”I’m about to pick you up and throw you into the ocean and there is nothing you can do about but you are welcome to try. This cleansing of your annoying soul will commence in two minutes.”
This is certainly strange information for the rule mongers to process but as I go expressionless with that thousand yard stare they always leave.
Hence the Multiple Personality joke at the beginning of this writing. Just who the hell are any of us or is any of us?

Freddogg Off All Chains at All Times