Freddogg Off The Chain

How much would you charge to Wax a herd of Elephants who are otherwise minding their own business?
I’m not talking Turtle Wax I’m talking automatic weapon and you get to ride on horseback and dress like a Raider of the Lost Ark action hero. Let’s say 30 Elephants including the baby ones. Remember they are highly intelligent and loyal to family and friends. Could you murder Elephants in Africa for a million dollars or even five million how about 10 then get on a plane and come back home with money to invest in your children’s and grandchildren’s college fund and what if it were all legal?
I saw the 60 minutes promo after the Colts/Patriots game as I sat in the pressbox at Lincoln Financial Field. No one paid attention and the monitors were quickly changed to a channel carrying John Madden’s face speaking of the elephant in the middle of the room. I was disgusted and even the Eagles performance against Dallas couldn’t trump my sick feeling.
There is not enough money in the entire world to pay me to waste one elephant. Could I join a group of elephant protectors, be issued a weapon and shoot at the people who ride in to murder them? I believe I could be talked into that so I conclude that one innocent elephant is worth more than 10 murderous humans.
And why are we humans so sure there are no elephants in heaven? Is it because they don’t have souls or wear shoes?
How about Saint Peter walks us through heavens gates and the first thing we see is a family of elephants?
“Are those mother-humping elephants I see over there Petey Dog? Who let them in?
“A better question is, ‘who let you in?’
A drive-in liquor store in Dover, Delaware had a train of pink elephants painted around the yellow cinderblock pointing to the drive-in window. You have to love delirium tremens humor and the sick Pakistani proprietor who thought of it.
But seriously, all great white hunters with scoped shotguns getting ready for deer season in your local neighborhoods, is killing elephants for their tusks simply promotion of the musical arts because who wants to tickle the ivories when they are still attached to the pachyderm because if you play the elephant he just may play back.

Peace

Freddoggy