Freddogg Off The Chain

I have been a person belonging to the public all my professional life both as a teacher and journalist. Anytime someone from my cosmos steps off into the social matrix of laws, bylaws and Roberts Rules of Order I most likely know about it. I have taught students the intricacies and subtleties beyond the norms and mores that evolve into the laws guiding human interaction. Many of my best friends and former students have been arrested multiple times with little effort on their part.
“Mr. Frederick, is it true that you told your students if they haven’t been arrested by the time they graduate from high school that they aren’t getting out much? Please tell me you didn’t tell them that,”a parent asked me at the football concession stand not even offering to cover the cost of my boiled dog.
“I responded in non defensive fashion that with Town Cops, State Cops, Rent-A-Cops, Marine Police, Axially Cops, Ferry Cops, Choppers in the sky, Cops under cover, Sheriffs, Deputy Sheriffs, State Park Rangers, Environmental Protection Officers, Game Wardens, Deputy Dogs and an endless pool of Citizens on Patrol that it was no longer a status symbol to “have a sheet” of misdemeanors that would most likely not disappear when they turned 18 because someone, somewhere in place and space, would have to delete their record and that never happens until it’s too late and a prospective employer already knows you smoked Acapulco Gold before the Sun Splash reggae concert and got into a fight with a parking lot tee shirt salesman stoned on Quaaludes.”
. Fredman is a single word nickname given to me by students at Cape Henlopen High School early in my teaching and coaching career. It evolved from Coach Fred and is now moving in the modern millennium towards Freddogg as I get older and cooler. It becomes significant as I am often quoted by young offenders as a sub reference in magistrate courts and inside local police stations where those too talkative for tolerance are handcuffed to wooden benches.
A few summers ago a Magistrate Judge called me at home in the dead of the afternoon.
‘The funniest thing in my entire career just happened in my courtroom,”the Judge said. “Do you know Chris Palmetto?”
“Yes, I know him, former student and football player.”
‘Well I read him his ticket for multiple traffic offenses on the same maneuver in Lewes with the Chief of Police standing right next to him. He was charged with reckless driving, speeding, cracked windshield, no insurance or registration card and operating a motor vehicle with intent to deliver.”
“Dominoes?”
“No!”
“Anyway, Chris looks at the Chief then back at me and said, “everything he wrote down is absolutely true.’”
“Well then, Mr. Palmetto, if everything on the ticket is true, why are you standing in front of me pleading “not guilty?”
“Because Fredman said, “Always plead not guilty, ’” Palmetto said, with a seldom seen straight face.
The Judge thought it hysterical that I was being referenced and cited as a legal authority in court but try taking back a guilty plea coerced by a cop who threatens to pile on charges if you don’t plead out prior to legal counsel.
Another time I was summoned to a State Police Troop after three students were booked on multiple offenses after squealing tires leaving the pool hall parking lot catching the attention of “Secret Stake Out Man” slouching nearby in unmarked white car with black walled tires re-evaluating his career path.
Basically these three college bound seniors had a tiny digital scale in the backseat-grams and kilograms- and unless they were members of weight watchers that just didn’t compute.
The officer was going to “let my people go” except they wouldn’t answer the simplest of questions including their names, destination and who owned the car. Just before enacting the threat to take them to juvenile detention center a cop asked,”What’s wrong with you idiots? Why won’t you talk?”
“Fredman said we have the right to remain silent,”one kid said, before producing my phone number. “I had no idea such a rigid interpretation of Miranda Rights had been inculcated into their craniums through my teaching.
Delmarva is not “The Hood of Human Habitat” so really, is all the enforcement justified? Have you ever stood by and watched a grown man measuring another man’s trout? Have you ever had your boat pulled over by a Marine Policeman in a car because your registration sticker was out of date?
The newest addition to all of this enforcement is Citizens on Patrol inside state parks and small towns. No wonder our inner cities are so lawless. All the enforcement people have moved to Delmarva.
I enter each new day a soft target and easy mark and I will always plead not guilty if I speak at all.