Freddogg Off The Chain

Darby Doodle loves to scare up unsuspecting wild life including feral cats and someday I know he is ripe for a good ass kicking but meanwhile how much fun is it to get the drop on a rain pipe full of homeless cat-napers who never see his 90 pound stuffed animal ass until he freight trains through their habitat.
Two petrified tabbies treed themselves then perched in the crook of a branch as the women where I work told me the expense of getting them down would be born by Darby’s handler. I immediately threw a parking lot stone at the pussy in tree number one then asked, ”How much did that cost?”
Here is the bigger animal planet question? How could an animal so perfectly designed as a cat, an animal so stealth, a hunter so agile in the wild or so adept at jumping from counter to table top have the one limitation the one dead end evolutionary flaw of not being able to come back down a 40 foot tree scaled in seconds.
Imagine a leopard up a jungle tree that dies from hunger because it won’t come down. “The bitch should have jumped.” The basic rule is a watch cat won’t look un-cool because how they get down is a trade secret.
Three hours after being treed I was back at the office and the cats were back in the pipeline. I left Darby at home because I didn’t want to be in a catfight where I work.
I’ve broken up a couple human catfights in my day and I didn’t even feel the pain until raised welts on my arms screamed for salve.
One of the human catfights was between two drunken white women in a loose stone parking lot in front of a bunch of white drunks. I grabbed the one on top by the elbows pulled away her arms and she said “ were are fine” and they started consoling each other saying Brandon wasn’t worth it and Brandon in the crowd said, ”I am definitely not worth it”. And as she was getting up the one on top grabbed a fistful of stones and whipped them into the face of the one on the bottom. It was the nastiest cheapest shot I’d seen since my grandmother low bridged a lady in the Acme who cut in front of her.
I just did what I do went from a wild cat in a pipe to my grandmother in the Acme market.
I am not creative I am insane.

Freddogg