Freddogg Off The Chain

“I wouldn’t worry about it much those old dreams are only in your head.” Bob Dylan.

We educated types have taken classes where dreams are analyzed and the best way to remember is to write down the dream in a notebook by the bedside before your feet hit the floor. “But I don’t dream, really I don’t “is a common whine heard from the overachiever in the classroom but they do they just don’t realize that their own sub conscious is so sick of them that the elements for a good dream are not present so they go test pattern for eight hours.

Dreams are best induced by eating food right before bedtime that alter body chemistry or require all organs to work all night long, like devouring half a pepperoni pizza before passing out. The dreams are like a DVD player in the mini van, if the trip is to be long may as well have something to watch.

I never eat jelly beans and I’m not much of a sugar craver so last night just as I prepared for a soft bed landing, my wife, who was reading, turned out the light. There I was in the dark stuck in jeans one injured leg and a fist filled with jelly beans. I almost killed myself kicking free from my pants and sat in the dark on the bed eating one bean at a time while purring like house cat which is not as much fun as it used to be since televisions went to flat screens.

I never had jelly bean dreams before and all I can say is that they were so strange and somewhat scary and it’s been a long time since I telecommuted in the middle of the night. I tried to astro project through the widow of my childhood bedroom but I got stuck and woke up hyperventilating and had to assure myself “it’s only a dream moron” but jelly bean dreams allow you to reenter unlike high school basketball games.

If I ever travel to dementia land quickly buy a tape recorder then enter a creative writing program. Don't worry,we won't mind.



Freddogg and the Pound Posse