Freddogg Off The Chain

I am an Acme Checker School flunky from back in 1965 partially because of attitude and the remaining parts skill. I have played the loser with the best of them and I can’t say I’ve learned from mistakes because I still make lots of them but I have an ingrained empathy for real working people and I will rise to protect them at a moments notice.

Last Sunday I was next in line checking out of the Super Fresh when the register went off like a car alarm. A fat young white girl with her back to all the checkers she was in charge of turned her head not her body and screamed “hit clear!” The woman who I know dropped out of high school then went back at age 45 to get her GED from night school stood with that little register key and said, ”What?” ‘Hit clear,” said the frustrated Sea Cow who had sent all walrus suitors to deep water.

The woman hit clear and the noise stopped and she said to her bossy lady,”Sorry I couldn’t hear you.” “I said hit clear three times,” bitch woman said.

I entered the game. “Actually you said “’Hit Clear’, Twice.” Shoppers froze realizing I had thrown down the cutlet. I got a stare but I wanted to engage this person and teach her a lesson about leadership. I wanted her to come back in my face but she smirked me off as inconsequential.

Last summer I was walking on the boardwalk at 6 a.m. An older black man and city worker was pushing a loud machine called a Billy Goat when some white guy city administrator showed up and started yelling at him then grabbed the Billy Goat and gave a 15 second demonstration which is simply to roll over the trash and the Billy Goat eats it up.

I wondered if the black man was a Vietnam infantry vet? He was the right age and most deferments went to white college kids. And why would some loser bother the Billy Goat guy on a summer’s morning as the sun was just clearing the horizon line.

I wanted to kick his ass so badly but rent a cops would have come to the rescue and I’m sure I could lay waist to an endless number of them before “the dog” showed up and I ended up in prison with a yard alias ‘Billy Goat Ruff.”

Freddogg

Sports writer and fiction writer Dan Jenkins actually wrote this line

“When I was a younger man I used to fall asleep each night dreaming about pussy. Now I dream about killing people.” Now that is funny.