Freddogg Off The Chain

I was leaning over a fence last Thursday night, the thugged-out grandfather in sunglasses and ski hat and black turtle neck, watching high school lacrosse, which is preppy and yuppy, attracting fathers who wear yellow sweaters and worse and belong to Parrot Head clubs and just go crazy when they hear Jerry Jeff Walker sing,”Up against the wall Red Neck Mothers.”

People looked at me “you can’t take the Philly out of the boy” but what good is a baseball hat in a stiff wind. I enjoy being buttoned down but not sear suckered so sue me.

This Quaker co-ed home from Freshman year in college was holding court inside my personal hearing zone, rattling on about every amusing, so she thought, story from her first year at college and I overheard her say,”And this boy who is Catholic lied about it and pledged this Jewish fraternity and now he’s this Major Jew Poser.

Now that was funny which bought her more time but not an infinity of inane stories and I looked at the boys who just were all about respect and politeness and the entire scene was perfect for the time tested joke drop “show us your tits.” And I say that in all due respect and if you need that joke explained you are a Parrot Head.

I want a tee shirt “Nobody Cares!” just to wear to parties that I don’t attend. My new motto for that is “Better Slighted than Invited.” That way you don’t have to go but you can make someone feel guilty about it.

I am so out.

Perhaps I’ll return with a Memorial Day Weekend story of my youth. Fill me up buttercup.

freddogg