Freddogg Off The Chain

What it is-is those damn Jap Beatles!

An octogenarian willingly playing his role as “old guy on the bench” dressed in tractor cap, light weight flannel shirt, green dingo pants, suspenders and boots was sitting on a bench at the Bay watching the world go by. I was on the bench next to him playing my role as famous community person who most times moves inconspicuously among the throngs and thongs as my alter ego “Big Loser Boy”.
Neighbor lady who was also old but kept bringing up people in stories and by way of introduction saying ‘I am of course younger than them” to which the man would transition “well anyway”.
The talk was of Cousin Ernest who passed that day to pancreatic cancer but he didn’t tell nobody and every thought it was the bad heart that would get him. And quickly the conversation turned to tomato plants and those pesky "Jap Beetle" and I wanted to ask if they were related to Krout Cockroaches or Gook Gnats and I thought of Black snakes but too pejorative and not funny.
The man said,”Those Japs ate all my bulbs” and the woman responded “every dam one of them” and he said “yes, all but three” and then she said,” Have you seen that groundhog living under your neighbor’s shed out in the back and the man responded “He mined hisself under there is what he did- well anyway.”
This cute couple had run the limit with me as I thought “what if I just wanted to watch the sun set and not listen to this bullshit what if I preferred Jap Zero with my Coke Zero?
And poor Ernest got no play whatsoever. The tomato plants drew more refection.
The woman’s parting shot “It’s supposed to be hot like this tomorrow. Don’t even look for me I won’t even pop my head out” Well anyway.

Freddogg