Freddogg Off The Chain

I watched a documentary yesterday on Belleview Hospital in New York. The psychiatric emergency room sees 60 new patients a day. I can’t think of a single place with more fresh material for a writer and I’m trying not to say one with a minor in comedy.
Did you know that most mentally ill people are substance abusers and it’s hard to know what came first the psychotic chicken or the coconut egg? The psychiatrists on staff said cocaine is the schizophrenics’ drug of preference because it chases away negative feelings and voice activated messages “you are god” are mostly positive not “you are such a schmuck” negative.

One dude was asked “and why would you be chosen to be the messiah to come back to earth” and he responded “why not me it has to be someone”?

Another woman with broken glasses scotch taped together-and those were the new ones- said she just wants to wake up one morning and not be afraid and to have “slices of roast beef with Swiss cheese wrapped around them.”

Another guy was begging for release and a woman doctor said, ”We have to keep you here for awhile for detoxification and to get you on new medication.”

He objected said lots of people drink two bottles of vodka a day to chase mood elevating pills and she said, ”Yes but didn’t you call the police and tell them you were going to commit suicide by jumping out the window of your apartment building?”

“Yes I did,”he admitted. “But them I called them back and told them I lived on the second floor.”

I know, I know, none of it is funny but the good news is if you drink and drug enough you can become as crazy as the next person.

I walked the second floor at 6 a.m of a private institution for exotically mentally ill adult males whose families have lots of money. I was just in high school. A counselor guy told me “If you are interested in psychiatry you must observe the wake up ritual.

I believe in pornography it is called “morning wood” and no joke it was a loggers convention every morning just non inhibited lumberjacks standing in door ways some actually talking in casual conversation to a person across the hall. That’s why all Psychology texts are bullshit because they can’t handle the truth of human behavior when it goes off road in a two wheel drive convertible.

freddogg