Freddogg Off The Chain

A stupid friend of mine once said “My wife calls me algebra because I’m always hard.” Then I saw his wife in the grocery store-insert your own produce joke- and I asked her “Where’s Algebra?” And she said,”How did you know my cousin’s nickname?”
Speaking of the worthlessness of a slide rule in the hands of the masses yesterday I met with renowned hip surgeon and he never asked for x-ray update of did any motion test he just actively listened to things I said, answered questions then said I was absolutely not a candidate for hip replacement surgery and on bad days I should just use a cane, you know, like in the gym on my way to the triceps press down station.
He did throw out the factoid that for every 10 pounds of belly fat it translated into 40 pounds of hip joint pressure the old X for belly is equal to 4times Y for hip socket.
“That would explain the preponderance of fat limping people,”I said. “But not all limpers are fat and some joints just deteriorate from over use, no use, or bad diet. And by the way, I know what you did there, just burying the belly fat factoid in the middle of a sentence so that I wouldn’t make anymore jokes about you in my column like twisting the legs off IGA barbecue chickens just for recreation. “
So my wife and I go to a Diner last night-I take a night off from airborne viral attacks from the uninsured inside high school gyms and I order Chicken and egg plant Parmesan. The plate comes so stacked with food it looks like a joke and the waiter brings an extra plate why I have no idea.
I ate only a little because I was already filled up on salted sour dough pretzels I boomed craned from a barrel on the kitchen counter.
A self designed program of weight loss and core strengthening is my prescription which I will follow religiously as long as no church is involved.
“It’s hip to be square.”

Attached is picture of paternal grandfather Frank Frederick I am estimating he is 52 years old and I am 2. Yes he is big strong German dude with bad attitude and most likely bad hip.