Freddogg Off The Chain

I am the guy who back in the day bought his wife a frying pan for Christmas purchased at Western Auto no less and it was not a joke I actually thought it was a good idea at the time. It was the nicest never used frying pan I ever saw and the only one I ever coveted which I think breaks one of the commandments. “Hey Moses take two tablets and call me in the morning.”
Remember when Bill Murray in Stripes went after the WAC with a spatula and egg beater and she finally admitted she was sexually stimulated. Don’t ever try that with plugged in appliances.
I recently have been eating less so I compensate by buying kitchen tools specifically designed for fatty and unhealthy foods. I find them at Marshals cleverly placed near the rack of action wear that goes from sizes 2X to 5X. That can’t be a coincidence.
Stainless Steele scooper for ice cream don’t tell me that’s not sexual and how about a sadistic slicing roller to cut pizza from the sorry frozen discs of delight which taste just like the box so why not just eat the picture and save the propane?

I’m out in search of an omelet maker. I love the word omelet especially with the word cheese in front of it. Cheese cutter tool? Those things are crazy cool. Where do I find one?