Freddogg Off The Chain

I must admit to living my life as a pretty handsome guy. Now I’m just another old guy and a witty guy who doesn’t get to kill people so my electrician friend Doc tells me “it’s just not allowed.”
Some years back at a happy hour along the canal a high school principal from Pa half drunk leaning into a bowl of steamed shrimp started wearing me out saying things like “you’re the guy in the newspaper but you look fatter in person,. Why don’t you update your picture?”
I looked at the guy then looked at Doc who said. ”You’re the school teacher and funny guy in the newspaper and you just don’t get to kill people it’s simply not allowed.”
Then Doc looked across at the principal,”I don’t know how long I can convince this man that killing you is a bad idea because I can tell you he is a bit of a bad rig and I know you can’t hurt him and I don’t know why he likes to break up gang fights but he’s dam good at it.”
The sportswriter extraordinaire Dan Jenkins said, “When I was a younger man I used to fall asleep each night thinking about women. Now I think about killing people.”
Anyone wanting to see a 63rd birthday picture of me just look at my seven grandchildren. I am the composite hologram of them all I’m a lucky old dog with a soft bite rocking the cone collar so I don’t bite myself or anyone else.