Freddogg Off The Chain

One minute you are minding your own business and the next you are watching four women wrestle an old porky retriever dog and the specialist has a rubber glove, another is your wife and you are thinking “oh my god” I once saw a slow motion dog bite and the mouth opens wide enough to carry a cantaloupe.
I excused myself feeling suddenly weary and useless plus who needs to see that. But it was too late and there was talk of impacted anal glands “vet woman never felt any so full” and I never knew any existed but somehow improper vigilance of my dog’s anal glands was making me look like a low class owner.
Hey the next time I go searching for impacted anal glands on a dog there will be a bazooka trained at my head.
I suggested the Hannibal the Cannibal dog defense mask but my suggestion was shaken off like ear mites on a summer night. That’s another disgusting dog trick, ear mites. Why did god even make them? I know why because he thinks it’s funny like all the creepy parasites that invade mammalian bodies the price we pay for being higher order animals.
I’m thinking of a group of rockers “ The Impacted Anal Gland Band-hitting that high lonesome sound-so lonesome I could cry. Express Yourself!

Freddogg Dragging my Butt across the hot blacktop driveway or life