Friday, May 29, 2009
Hemocidal Herbivores
“The Hippo is responsible for more violent attacks and deaths of humans in Africa than any other herbivore.”
So is the Hippo responsible or irresponsible and if responsible then subjected to the laws of man which means what exactly being as one hippo pretty much looks like another and I wonder what goes through your head when attacked by a 5000 pound buoyant beast with mostly mashers for teeth except for those four foot long incisors.
“Oh yea, you’re jealous Mr. Bull Hippo like I am interested in riding your cow like an amusement park paddle boat or my Tugboat Auntie in the above ground pool.
Here’s an idea, don’t swim in moats! Rhinos are prehistorically stupid with their big bodies and sloped heads and aphrodisiac horns but they are always dry and dusty not to mention crusty and instinctively know better than to risk being butt plugged and mashed on the neck by a frustrated homicidal homo herbivore hippo screaming like Marv Albert’s in an algae wig surprising his Friday night girlfriend, “Coming at you from downtown, Yes!”
And remember a Giraffe may kick your ass but you will never kick his.
freddogg
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Good afternoon Dave,
I stunbled into your realm searching for "off the chain". After perusing several of the websites (that had basically answered my question...see below) I clicked on yours and look forward to reading all your posts. You are an educated fellow with just the right smattering of smartassedness sprinkled with well verbalized disdain for those of we humans who need a swift kick in the arse. I like!!
Now, because you appear to have a stellar grasp of the English language, how do you feel about a 61 year-old woman using the phrase "off the chain" in an e-mail to her 35 year-old daughter, describing an outrageous video she (me) saw on YouTube. My daughter chastised me saying in essence, that I was far above the calibre of person who might employ such a crass street adjective. What do you think?
I stunbled into your realm searching for "off the chain". After perusing several of the websites (that had basically answered my question...see below) I clicked on yours and look forward to reading all your posts. You are an educated fellow with just the right smattering of smartassedness sprinkled with well verbalized disdain for those of we humans who need a swift kick in the arse. I like!!
Now, because you appear to have a stellar grasp of the English language, how do you feel about a 61 year-old woman using the phrase "off the chain" in an e-mail to her 35 year-old daughter, describing an outrageous video she (me) saw on YouTube. My daughter chastised me saying in essence, that I was far above the calibre of person who might employ such a crass street adjective. What do you think?
I am a contemporary of yours and way beyond being edited by one of my adult children however your daughter may be more from the "off the hissie" generation hard to tell.
I like "off the chain" as an expression in fact I have owned dogs all my life and none of them has ever been on a chain so why should I get cinched up.
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I like "off the chain" as an expression in fact I have owned dogs all my life and none of them has ever been on a chain so why should I get cinched up.
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