Freddogg Off The Chain

I am freaky good at instantly naming characters from my past that spontaneously show up at places like WaWa and Food Lion Checkout lines. What’s weird are the ones who are seriously and obviously rocking an alternative if not inactive lifestyle and don’t expect or want you to notice them so they hide in plain view or behind a breakfast bagel.
Like why do I care if a girl from the eighties “came out “rocking the spiked haircut” of many colors so identifiable with same sex orientation, has eyebrow rings and has put on 60 pounds? I jump straight up in all their business.
“Hey it’s Fredman I know that’s you in there. Do you miss me? I’ll bet you never heard such good stories like you did back when you were my student. Remember the dachshund painting I commissioned you to do for my mother in law. She’s still living but the dog died in a collapsing wood pile in the backyard.”
“Really?”
“Yes I thought the dog was lost but on a frigid morning when I tried to put her in the wood stove I realized that what I thought were growing fungus's were actually ears.”
“Oh my god did that really happen?”
“Absolutely not, “I said, as a long line of attention deprived adults were riveted on my every word.
“So what’s new with you?”
“Nothing,” she said and couldn’t disappear fast enough.